Milan trip Volume 2

Firstly many thanks for the hundreds of letters we've recived at the station. Particular gratitude goes to Mrs. Elsie Windrust of Merthyr for her delicious apple crumble recipe. Fireman Muller said it was 'his mother makes just like was' and he should know.

After we got out of the airport we realised that Mr Ryanair had sent us to Bergamo airport not Milan. There were some mountains nearby so Can Lad Eddie, the only member of our group with a Geography GCSE said that it must be Switzerland. Anyway to cut a long story short, we got taxis to Milan (confusingly called Milano in Italy) and we arrived at the hotel in time for a quick drink before we went out to find a bar.

Fireman Rossi helped with the map reading so we were able to find a nearby cafe. We noticed the smoke ban also applies to Italy so Can Lad Eddie was forced to stand outside in the rain. Oh CLE if your mother could see you now.

Firegirl Tassie (who was allowed to come so as not to flout the sex discrimination policy of Captain Flak) was left to unpack out gear and iron some of the more crumpled garments. Well, when in the fashion capital we need to look our best.

As regular readers will know Fireman Taff is something of an expert in the art of crayon collecting. There's nothing he likes better than sitting down after a hard shift saving the good people of Wales from nasty burns an such, and leafing through a copy of Waxing Lyrical: The journal of Crayon collectors (or Crayolaists as we like to be called). Well imagine how I felt when I discovered the baggage peole on Ryan had misplaced my bag of sunset yellows. More on this scandal later.

The beer in the town was very expensive so Can Lad Eddie devised a solutiuon - we bought one drink then would pour our own spirits in when the waiter wasn't looking. CLE said he had seen girls do this in the toilets of The Charlotte Church back home.

So we got gently drunk on pironni and pernod. Next day we planned to visit the local museum of great fires in homage to all Italian fire personnel who gave their lives for better snooker tables in the rec room.

STATS

No of call outs 12 (I think Mrs Fireman Taff has been giving out my mobile number)

No of fires 0 (we hope)

No of times Can Lad Eddie got slapped 22

No of beers 17 (we decided to have a quiet first night)

If music be the food of love

A tidy Lombardy sized canneloni washed down by a couple of bottles of soave and a brandy.

Random Philosophy

Italian is tricky. The word for ticket is biglietto but it is not pronounced like Can Lad Eddie thought. He ended up getting Big Luigi instead. Try saying the French word billet and pretend you are from Paris.

Can Lad Eddie Fund Update

Trevor Wheatacre of Trowbridge asks if donations will be returned if Can Lad Eddie is found guilty. Good question. We are still waiting to see if the lady in question is pressing charges.

Also, thank you to Mrs McCann of Leicestershire for her donation of a cuddlecat for auction.

Any money, clothing or beer can be sent to the usual address, or dropped of at Mr Hussein's or contact us on canladeddiedidit@ftaffbeervineyardfund.it

Have a good flame resistant day and remember - you can burn the candle at both ends.